Gray Nicholls - Waiting for Nancy (Book)

A few of you one of my best friends, Gray Nicholls is also a really, really good poet in his own right.

Somewhat quiet by nature, earlier in the year, he asked me to help him edit what has now become his debut book the together ‘waiting for nancy’ which is a series of 17 poems telling the story between a man and a woman and write the blurb on the back of the book and then publish it on my own page on lulu.com.

It can be bought here - http://www.lulu.com/shop/http://www.lulu.com/shop/gray-nicholls/waiting-for-nancy/paperback/product-22502540.html?ppn=1

The blurb is ‘ An ‘on the road’ for the 21^st Century in verse told on the streets of Manchester (UK) which jumps up and down between pathos, humour and a rich earthiness exploring a relationship between two very different people which begins off as a relationship before going off in a totally different direction.

Gray’s words throughout each piece are tingled with a edginess bordering on the genre of a emotional thriller, constantly spinning backwards and forwards which by the end certainly had made me look at places in some cases I had known for years in totally different ways.’

Definitely a name to watch.

Highly recommended.

Andy N.’

The original versions of the poems are still available on his profile on write out loud (although are quite different from what ended up in the book)

http://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/graynicholls

Music and Writing news (december 2015)

 Some music updates to start with, first of all, some sad news, but owning to a variety of reasons I won’t go into here but me and my good friend Amanda Silbernagel have had to put our joint project Audio Poesis on hold for at least the foreseeable future.

We do have a EP or two hanging around of unreleased tracks which I need to speak to Amanda about to decide what we are going to do with, but while this is sad news, I am hopeful we will get back together in the future and work on some new material.

 My gigging band for the past four years, A Means to an End is also about to finish off but not before playing our what is likely our final gig tomorrow at the Tyldesley Chapel in Tydlesley at 2pm. We will have some 4 track EP’s ready for distribution on the day too, which contain demo versions of 4 tracks from our up and coming album which is currently been remixed and will be ready shortly.

I’ll upload the demo tracks on Sunday on bandcamp and hopefully some live footage from the gig also of us.

In good news, it can be revealed that me and Jeff will hopefully carrying on with hopefully a new friend or two (whose name I won’t reveal yet) in a new project called Passover which will start rehearsals in January. I’ve wrote a few possible pieces and I’m looking forward to seeing what direction we go, as I suspect it will be a bit different to what we have done as a Means to an End.

There is also a possible chance of a second live band coming in the New Year with a former guitarist from a very old band I fronted Words & Music many years back who has got in touch. I hope to arrange a meeting with him soon over this and see what happens.

Ocean in a Bottle will be carrying on into the New Year too. The last few EP’s have been going down really well ‘Circling Winter’ and ‘The Midst of Winter’ and is signalling in a direction as a project this shall go.

A few titles floating around for future EPs include:

Heart of Winter (January 2015)

Reflecting Winter (February 2015)

The living dead of Manchester Morgue (March 2015)

And so on..

Writing wise, things are looking promising for my next book with Nick Armbrister, following on from 2014’s Europa with Europa II. I’ve currently wrote 14 pieces for this book (Aiming for 20 to 25) and if all goes well, should be out by next Spring or so if I can get a good burst of inspiration over Christmas.

I’ve recently help edit the debut book by my friend, Gray Nicholls ‘Waiting for Nancy’ and wrote the blurb at the back of the book. I really enjoyed reading this and helping him, must admit.

Link to follow soon on that.

I believe he has a second book in mind too but no doubt he’ll tell you about that himself.

More towards 2017, I guess my third full length solo book ‘From the Diabetic Ward’ will follow I guess. Currently that’s going ok too with maybe drafts of I guess 15 or 16 pieces done (Aiming for pushing 40 for that) and without giving away spoilers, the tone should be completely different for this book too.

More soon guys as always.

Andy

The Return Of Sir Richard Grenvile (Cover of Robert E Howard Poem)

a few of you know i go to a lovely, informal poetry evening at the witchwood tonight ran by Volodya Gorky tonight from 4pm to 6pm and tend to read usually my own stuff but have been reading a lot of the Solomon Kane works by Robert E Howard (more famous for his Conan material) recently and came across this poem The return of sir richard grenville http://allpoetry.com/The-Return-Of-Sir-Richard-Grenville which i am going to read tonight and as a bit of fun preparing myself i did this vocal rehearsal of it which i recorded and quite like (not perfect but hey ho).https://soundcloud.com/andynpoet/andy-n-poet-the-return-of-sir-richard-grenvile

More news to follow as have been up to a few things..

A Means to an End - s/t (New album release)

The debut album by my band from the last four and a bit years ‘A Means to an End’ is almost upon us.

Formed by myself, Jeff Dawson (also known as Jeffaram!) and Petrova C Fairhurst in 2011, our music has been a mixture of spoken word and singing over acoustic guitars to create an brand new language homed in dozens of gigs played throughout the Northwest of England. 

Produced by Ian Livesey, who has played additional guitar on a number of the tracks and has played on numerous gigs over the years with the band and will contain 12 tracks and shall be released on 12 December 2015 at Guitar and Verse, an local open mike night at Tydlesley’s Cadence Café C.I.C, Chapel Street, Tyldesley, M29 8FZ between 13:00 – 18:00 where we will be playing a set (in what is likely to be our last gig) along sets from Bard Company, Dave Rowley's Black Country and Jade Assembly.

Produced by Ian Livesey, who has played additional guitar on a number of the tracks and has played on numerous gigs over the years

An digital release will follow on the same release likely on bandcamp as a pay what you want basis as will the album on sale on that day with all proceeds going to in aid of a homeless charity, the Booth Centre, Manchester, in their 20th year of supporting homeless people.

Track listing is as follows:

1. Return to Kemptown
2. Caterpillar days
3. Ever Wondered?
4. Cotton Town
5. Front Page News
6. Leaving Belfast
7. A Coin in the Fountain
8. Dead to me
9. Tandle Hill
10. Hard Rock Village
11. Curtain Call
12. Leaving Belfast (Reprise)

Any queries in the meantime – please get in touch. (aen1mpo@yahoo.co.uk)

A sample or two should follow hopefully in the next week or so. 

Collaboration with Northern Scapes

With permission here are two poems done in collaboration with artwork from Jessica Owen aka Northern Scapes (http://www.northernscapes.co.uk)

Breaking Light I

The remains of the dark

leave an etched purple and white

turning the water

into a storm close to hatching

Stroking imaginary fingers

in different accents

across a slow rumble

crossing the skies

Kidnapping the air

in anticipation 

Transforming the sunset

into a hollow warning. 

Breaking Light II

Windmills linger

Through the lights

Shaping handprints

In the mist

Sewing answers

To your lips

Plucking mathematics

With each movement

Struggling constantly

To get through the fog

Like a car driving

Through the moors.






(More of Jessica's work can be seen at her website http://www.northernscapes.co.uk)

Poetry at Stalybridge Train Station

I recently took part at a poetry writing workshop at Stalybridge Library featuring poems wrote about Stalybridge Train Station with a number of other excellent poets.

Today despite the horrific weather conditions (and it has been rotten no two ways about it), I went to the exhibition launch.

The poems here will be here for at least 6 to 12 months I believe in the waiting room on Platform 4.

Go and have a look.

Poems for National Psoriais Awarness Week

Long story short.. The other week i recorded two poems for national psoriasis week for psoriasisshoutout (wrote as i know somebody who suffers from it pretty badly last year to help build awareness) and after publication i got approached to have them recorded professionally a few week-ends back.

Hope you enjoy.. as a person who lives with diabetes, helping increase awareness for this is the least i can do as i know too many people who live with this condition and unlike diabetes this is a condition i feel that a lot more should be known about but alas sadly isn't.

https://youtu.be/yT81BhejKsU (Subtitling Psoriasis)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR7eCrvJuWs (Dispersing Psoriasis)

More details about Psoriais Shout Out (who produced these poems) can be found here

The Ghost of Mayfield Station

Calling out the same name
Over and over
The sound varies constantly
Before cutting out
Like a chewed up tape

Echoing with a sadness
Bordering on the verge
Of a panic
Almost like they are
Pleading for forgiveness

Dismembered
In a broken sadness
Skipping through
All kinds of turmoil
Of a love clearly died

Left on the platform
No matter
Whether cold or warm

Bordered up
For who knows
How long
Waiting for the
Last train home.



(According to wikipedia.org, Mayfield_railway_station Manchester Mayfield is a former railway station in Manchester, England. It is located on the south side of Fairfield Street, next to Manchester Piccadilly station. Opened in 1910, Mayfield was constructed as four-platform relief station adjacent to Piccadilly to alleviate overcrowding. In 1960, the station was closed to passengers and in 1986 it was permanently closed to all services.
After years of abandonment and many proposed development schemes, the station roof was dismantled in February 2013. The site was used for Manchester International Festival in July 2013. Planning permission was granted for conversion of the station to an entertainment venue in November 2013.)

Best of Bolton 2015

Awaiting confirmation of another big announcement which i can't reveal yet and i believe i have a poem appearing in a book shortly, but in the meantime this blog entry which is on my wall from a bit back (http://writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=51476) has just been accepted into the best of bolton programme 2015 at the octegon theatre here (https://octagonbolton.co.uk/the-best-of-bolton-7) for 7th November @ 1.15pm.

Now to remember to get tickets.

Considering I forgot about it in 2014, but did get things performed there in 2012 and 2013, I am pleased with this.

Big Style. 

Just a tear away

Just a tear away

or a thought lost in translation.

Late last bus from Bolton

Calloused into a whisper

The loss of your love

Hangs around Moor Lane Station

Next to the market

Burying kisses

At the back of the town hall

Where once you shook Peter Kay’s hand

Into a pasture of love

Stretching past Sainsbury’s

Near the Sweet Green

With our love becoming shapes

Chipped by the moonlight

Clamped in the rain

Asthmatic in the silence

Of rail replacement buses

Just off Tynne Street

Next to the old GUS Building

And Barclays

And the Cattle Market

Just on Orlando Street

Flooding Blackhorse Street

In a headlight of emotion

Speaking against the wind

Like a annex trapped in a bubble

Preserving undated memories

Concaving multitudes

Over books of memories

Never to be seen again

Kissing goodbye

Once again in the rain. 

(My Submission for Best of Bolton 2015) 

International Exiles

Of course they're not

Simulating terror

Crossing the border

From one country to the next

Vibrating in fear

through rain

and gunfire

criss-crossing into brutal rhythms

across a gutted reflection

choking on echoes

screaming walkways

Choosing to sleep in the freezing air

looking at the camera

stone eyed

Pursuing hope

before their lives ebb into pieces.

(For those at Calais) 

Write Out Loud - Stockport @ Enchantment Exhibition, Stockport Art Gallery 26 and 27 September 2015

 Dear all;

A poem of mine 'Lighthouses in the Mist' and others including
a piece by my good friend Gray Nicholls among others from
Stockport's Write Out Loud group which meets monthly at
Stockport Art Gallery have appeared at a new exhibition
called Enchantment on 26 September and 27 September 2015.

I popped down yesterday and with permission took the following
pictures.

Jazz record Cut off Half Note

Looking back in hindsight
I wonder how some
Of my ex girlfriends
Would have handled me
Getting diabetes

Sian who lived with her wealthy parents
And who kissed me with a desire 
Beyond her tender years
Would have resented my inability 
To keep running down to London.

Helen would have sat in front 
Of her ever increasing cocktail bar
And have said what the hell
Can you drink now
(which in reality was very little). 

Dani would have been sympathetic 
But secretly missed our film and pizza weekends
When it then became apparent
My whole diet and sleeping pattern
Would have to totally change. 

Sam no doubt would have cheated on me
Even quicker than what she did 
When she saw the list of appointments
I would have constantly live with
For the rest of my life. 

Each relationship
Twisting different emotions
In particular now
Entwined in imaginary
Last embraces 

Coyly enamoured
Consuming memories

Creating different backdrops
To each element of my life
Like a jazz record cut off
Half note

Passing through each door
With no chance
Of sliding backwards
Even if I wanted 

Exploding emotions
Cast aside from changes in health

A history lesson
Tied together in a cluster of dots
Ripped apart
Into a totally different jigsaw.




(Another poem from my up
and coming third solo poetry book
‘From the Diabetic Ward’)

Autobiography (New Poem)

Coming apart like stitches
Memories break off
As you grow older
Dissolving into skeletons
Drained of fact.

Stripping emotions
Into stark instrumentals
Confusing Sian
The first girl you kissed
With Helen, the second.

Diminishing the 8 years
Working at Great Universal
Your first job
When then you wondered
If it would ever end.

Padlocked in broken gasps
All the way out
Carrying you constantly
Through your 3 years
At Bolton University.

Woven in amazement
Even now after that
Advising people at the Job Centre
Who recognise you
Ten years after you left.

Replacing the years
And all of the jobs
(never forgetting all of your partners)
that followed like footprints,

fragmented following Diabetes
which crashed into your life
like a train crash

tracing tears caked around your heart

constantly creating new
dramas slightly off key

dislocated across
half built promenades
in your imagination

blown apart every morning
in broken storms
looking at tablets lined up
in a row 
refusing to give up.





(From my upcoming next solo collection 'From the Diabetic Ward' which is a bit off before you ask)

A Means to an End @ Live at Cadence Cafe, June 2015

A few of us may know that my band 'A means to an End' (above)
recently played by the look of things what was likely our last gig live
at Cadence Cafe in Tydlesley.

We are currently pencilling in dates for recording an EP / album
as a finale, and whether this will involve some dates to promote
the EP / album, I don't know yet.

As a prelude to the album been recorded and released, here
is a live recording for you all to enjoy of that live gig.

Tissues at the ready (:

https://oceaninabottle.bandcamp.com/album/live-at-cadence-cafe-20-june-2015

Ocean in a Bottle - ‘Warped kind of ambient silence’ (Homage to the Aphex Twin)

The track listing for the next EP by Ocean in a Bottle ‘Warped kind of ambient silence’ out around the 1^st of July will be:

1.    Introducing the biosphere

2.    Stepping across footsteps

3.    Breaking into a pause

4.    Tracking movements in the snow

5.    Imaginary journeys into the heart of silence (Final Mix)

6.    Treasuring that moment

7.    Three layered jam at the heart of midnight

8.    Ambience with a dose of Aphex (Final Mix)

Two of these tracks undecided which will be if I can manage to work it out within the download option on the page only which still will be pay what you want).

For people who choose to pay me either a few pennies or if I am really honoured hundreds of pounds, they will also be some further exclusive tracks

Which I am still working on.

Demos of Imaginary journeys into the heart of silence are here and ambient with a dose of Aphex are here

Demos have already been done for my next ambient EP ‘Conversations with the Dead’ which will follow on 1^st August 2015.

News and Views - June 2015

Other writers operate in different ways, but as a poet more and more nowadays I tend to write my poems (apart from little poems which pop out with no place) designed to go into folders.

Some of these folders will likely never get finished into books / sequences etc and some have been going on as far back as my first book ‘Return to Kemptown’ or even longer, but thought some of you may find it interesting how my head works with my poems at the moment.

1)      Mystery Stories…. Last year, Orgiami Press published six short poems of mine into a tiny little chapbook, all stories in the framework of six little poems. Plan now is to write another six to send over to them later on this year (Currently have three done).

Completion date – Maybe end of Summer.

2)      Europa II. Just over a year, Nick Armbrister a fellow anti war poet like me approached me to do a split book with him on Anti War Poetry called Europa. After a long break, I am now ready to write a second book with him called Europa II. My plans this year are to write around 20 to 25 short poems, all based from research on stories in the prisoner of war camps in the Second World War.

Completion date - Currently I am on my 7^th poem for this but I reckon another year or so this should be done and maybe out for next Autumn (2016).

3)      From the Diabetic Ward. This originally was going to be my second full length book instead of the end of summer inspired by Hugo Williams topic on his own health, but this book at the time proved very hard to write as it involved writing in more detail than I was really ready to write about it (It took some time to accept the changes Diabetes enforced on me). However, it is now ongoing and I would like to write say 40 or so poems on it.

Completion date - Currently am on my 8^th, so some distance to go but would like to get this finished some day.

4)      Nightmare on the tracks. The plan for this to write an epic poem told in Chapters of what happens what a man stumbles into something he shouldn’t have done on a walk through some meadows.

Completion date - I think at the moment, it is around 25 pages or so so it’s certainly over half way (Aiming for around 40 pages or so) or at the end of Chapter three (Aiming for 5 Chapters), so we’ll see if and when this gets done but it’s looking good.

5)      The Beast within. If I complete Nightmare on the tracks, I do have an idea brewing for the above which will be a sequel set on a camping trip.

Completion date – watch this space.

6)      A Means to an End II (Or Songbook). Now my band ‘A Means to an End’ is almost finished, it is looking likely an album will follow before the end of Summer. If this goes to plan, I will release a little book (Only Short) containing the lyrics to a lot of the more well known lyrics the band has done including ‘Return to Kemptown’, ‘Leaving Belfast’ and ‘Tandle Hill’ been just three that I wrote either the lyrics for or the bulk off it and offer it free as a download from where you can download the album from. Watch this space for this baby.

Completion date – Autumn maybe.

On-top of this, I will carry on with my podcasting on http://andyn.bandcamp.com/. Plans include currently to do podcasts monthly for my split book with Jeff Dawson (aka Jeff Dawson) from 2011, A Means to an End, a selection of pieces from my love songs for Cathy (done with permission) and Europa (with Nick Armbrister). Once I have got these completed, I will then move onto some of the above and would like to do eventually do podcasts of new and older revisited poems on a monthly basis.

I am also carrying on with my Ocean in a Bottle eps on a monthly basis too, (https://oceaninabottle.bandcamp.com/) although it is looking less likely they will be less Piano for the next few months as I want to do some ambience based material for a bit now as the next two will be called ‘Homage to Aphex’ and ‘Conversations with the Dead’ (Demos have already been done for both).

Audio Poesis (https://audiopoeisis.bandcamp.com/) has been quiet but it’ll pick up again. We both have been busy.

Sadly my band ‘A Means to an End’ has finished but not before doing a nice gig as a goodbye the other week which I do have a nice recording off (Will upload soon) and also will record an album over the summer.

And I will want to keep submitting to magazines / journals etc.

The End of Summer book now out!

The End of Summer, the second full length book by Andy N (Author of ‘Return to Kemptown and ‘A means to an End’ with Jeff Dawson and ‘Europa’ with Nick Ambrister) was wrote over a near four year period from 2011 to 2015.

Originally started to show how the writer was dealing with a newly diagnosed major change in health, the book developed over time to talk about the change in season, in this case from the end of Summer into the beginning of Autumn, mirroring much more than just a change but an emotion that overcomes us all at major turning points in our lives.

Told often in taunt, short little pieces, the book invites comparisons with the poet Hugo Williams but also shows a love of music through two of the Author’s own favourite music groups with July Skies and Epic 45, which explores the Englishness of the countryside in sparse, echoing brush-strokes which often need more than one read to breath the images he portraits.

With an Introduction by noted American writer, Amanda Silbernagel. ‘The End of Summer’ is a book that tunnels into memories creating new emotions at the end of it.

A few words said about Andy N’s previous work:

Jeffarama!

Andy N writes with the power to deliver right across your doorstep

Leanne Moden

Mystery Story' guides the reader through richly atmospheric places. Andy reveals the stories hidden in landscapes as familiar as the dockyards, a wintry lake and the 7.39 train, discovering the depths that they conceal.

Yvonne Reddick

Andy N romances the reader, even his words about war, poverty or suffering are gentle on the ear. A gentle raging that fills each story, that poetry was made for. Poems that sing to you, up close, intimate. Please excuse him, his intentions are purely human."

John G.Hall

Bewitched and bewitching, Mystery Story is a poetic scale model of a haunted house – a model composed of words instead of plexiglass, images instead cardboard. Though the house may be small, it is masterfully built, rich in detail, and replete with surprising twists and turns. It is the home of dancing apparitions and mysterious dancers, ghosts of lovers and lovers of ghosts, 'blown out streetlights // Breathing in and out slowly', 'shadows // Entombed in splintered ice.' A must-read. Praise to Andy N for delivering yet another 'portal // Of forgotten bed stories.…Crying for a way out // In broken poetry.” '"

 The book can be brought directly from Andy N (aen1mpo@yahoo.co.uk) £5 plus £1 P & P (E books free).

Or on Lulu at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/andy-n/the-end-of-summer/paperback/product-22086369.html

Or read here for free (I don't mind) https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=3Sm9CQAAQBAJ&pg=PA66&lpg=PA66&dq=andy+n+the+end+of+summer+lulu.com&source=bl&ots=I-pY3vBOUe&sig=0OfcxV4VvOhfsMDXjocHgTkxEAM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=nn1vVeTRC-m17gbo4YHYDQ&ved=0CDgQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q&f=false

Dropped Phone Call

I ring you in the usual way
During a early lunch
But you drop the phone
When you hear my voice
Leaving me with nothing
But the droning ambience
Of a lost call.

Perhaps you are still in bed
In the middle of a deep sleep
After a late

Late

Late night

Talking

I had forgotten you mentioning
With a few bottles of wine
At your friend Jane’s
And couldn’t be bothered
Staggering out of bed
To answer the phone,

Or maybe your Cat
Has instead of missing
The dressing table
After jumping from your bed
Has leaped over the suite
Onto the window
And knocked the phone flying
Cutting me off into oblivion.

Perhaps it was a BT error

Or you are on the phone
To your mate, Steve
For one of your epic
Three or four hour calls
Which frequently has me thinking
What the hell
You could talk about
For so long
And is meant to feel minor
When Steve says he sometimes
Talk to one of your ex’s
All night long
Sometimes,

Or maybe you are rushing off
To the shop
Across the road
To pay your lottery ticket
Before rushing off
To your doctors
Then asda up the road
Before it closes
And really
Really
Could not be bothered
Answering my call
At least then.

Whatever reason
It still hasn’t clouded
Over my love
For you.

(NB. A Short Poem from a ebook of poems I wrote for my then partner Cathy called ''Love Songs for Cathy V', of which a hard copy can be bought here - http://www.lulu.com/shop/andy-n/love-songs-for-cathy-v/paperback/product-21381711.html. I will welcomely send over a PDF of the book to anybody if interested free of charge. Email me onaen1mpo@yahoo.co.uk or PM etc.)

Diabetes in the workplace

The article included below in a rare break from fictional writing 
has been wrote specially for my works as a big feature on Diabetes
as a few of you may or may not know I have been suffering from 
this condition since the summer of 2011, which ironically came 
just as I was starting to make inroads with my writing in general.

Without going into tons of detail about where I work, there is 
a big group within my workplace called the Health and Well Being
group whose aim is to educate people about health conditions etc
and when the focus moved onto Diabetes, it was only natural I
volunteered to write the article below (which I believe will be 
getting published on their intranet in a reduced form in April
or May 2015).

Andy



Borrowing shamelessly from www.diabetes.org.uk, Diabetes is described as a condition where the amount of glucose in your blood is too high because the body cannot use it properly that over a prolonged period can lead to serious long-term health complications eg. causing cardiovascular disease, stroke, kidney failure, foot ulcers and damage to the eyes to name but a few.

Until I contracted it in at the end of the summer of 2011, I dismissed as something that mainly affected elderly people and very young children. My father contracted it in 2000, and I know both his father had it and his grandfather had it, but in hindsight I still knew very little about it until I collapsed at work unexpected and woke up in hospital. I had been having some problems going to the toilet and was over-heating somewhat with a little weight gain, but I dimissed as the beginning of a middle aged spread which I would soon work off when I joined a gym (which I was planning to do so).

I was totally wrong.

At hospital, when I woke up, I was told I was now Diabetic telling me I had a reading at around 28.9 mmo/L (Non-diabetic peoples readings according to  http://www.diabetes.co.uk/s are recommended to be 4.0 to 5.9 mmol/L before meals and under 7.8 mmol/L two hours after a meal)) and told simply it could have easily done quite serious damage or at worse, actually killed me.
In the near 4 years or so now since that day and I contracted Diabetes, I have met a number of other people who also have to live with Diabetes like myself including some who were a lot less lucky than me. I know of one person who lost their eyesight almost totally, another a foot and a third who refused to pay attention to medical advice, and died within 18 months of being diagnosed.
In my case, it forced major changes to my whole life in particular upon returning to work.

Admittedly, I am far from perfect in what I eat now, but the changes I made included  eating food in the right proportions, balancing what I eat very carefully (keeping an eye glucose levels and eating as low fat a diet as I possibly can), and generally learning to look after myself.
Instead previously of just buying food in supermarkets if I fancied it, I learned how to pay more attention to everybody I bought, mapping out with a attention to detail on some days it actually felt like I was mapping out a chapter in a novel, which I guess is probably very close to the truth.

Without doubt, it is a constant struggle, that goes without saying but it is not a condition that I let hold me back in anything I do. I certainly cannot live the kind of lifestyle I used to live, but with some adjustments it has made me much more aware of myself and the way my body works than I ever did.

I still miss those Cheeseburger and chips treats every lunchtime thou – lol.