Sunday 23 December 2012

Christmas Present thank you letter from Snow White


Dear Dopey and the rest
of my six, lovely little friends
this is just a tiny note
just to let you know
while i was here
and you were gone,
I just wanted to thank you
for your Christmas Present,  

but while I was here
and you were gone
I just wanted
to let you know
you had left the price tag on,

nobody had replaced
the burnt out old fuse
nor the plug which looked like
if it had been left there
much longercould have melted
the wrapping paper.

I am a little stunned
it looked likesomebody had already used it
and worse still
didn't bothered cleaning it
when they had finished
with it
or bothered drying out
the instructions. 

I cannot believe
another name is quite visible
underneath my name
and my address is nothing
like Snow White's Pleasure doTN22 3NJ. 

I am blazingthe wrapping paper
looked like it had being
half ripped open
which made me think
somebody messed
around with it
last christmas
and thought to themselves
there is no f**king way
I am keeping that
and I'll recycle it
to some other sod
the following year. 

So while this is just a note
while I was here
and you were gone,
I would like to say thank you
for your gift
of a hedge trimmer, 
and would just let know
in addition
that the used blow up reindeer doll
you also sent
has being returned
to Santa Claus
and he's coming
round to yours
to kick the Sh*t out of you later 

Love Snow White 

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